Wednesday, 25 July 2012

SMART SKINNY GIRLS ALWAYS READ THE LABEL


This is what one 125 ml serving of "skinny" looks like. 
(Warning: You're gonna need more than one.)

Skinnygirl Cocktails.
I have to admit, the name is catchy. Because who hasn't longed to lose a few pounds at one time or another, hasn't longed to be "skinny?"
It's that word, man. Pair it with "cocktails" and you might as well just run through a dark alley yelling: "Free Crack! Who wants free crack?"

Skinnygirl is the massively successful brand of "lite" booze being hawked by Bethenny Frankel. She's been in The Real Housewives of New York City and Bethenny Ever After, but these days she makes a lot of her money by feeding your desire to be thin. 
Never mind that she looks like she might feel a lot better if she put on a few pounds; that won't make her a dime. Skinny! That's what sells, goddamit! 
Anyway, my point is, I was in the liquor store last night and her latest offering, Skinnygirl Sangria, was on sale. 
Well the only thing I like more than booze and being skinny is saving money. So I hovered. I picked up the bottle. I didn't like the price, even on sale, but the girl on the bottle is very skinny, so I continued to waver. 
Two more women came up and wavered too.

"I'm curious about this drink, but I can't bear the thought of giving this woman my money," I said to one of them.
Her eyes lit up immediately. "I know, right?" she said.
Yet still we stood there, wavering in silent unison, trying to decide why we weren't quite buying it (literally). Then I had a thought: just how "skinny" is Skinnygirl?
So I read the calorie info.

"110 calories" (why that's barely more than an apple or a few prunes!) and then the crucial bit: "per 125 ml."
 Well ladies, 125 ml is half a cup. I don't know about you, but  the last time I stopped at  half a cup of liquor was when I was on medication and under strict orders not to drink any alcohol whatsoever.
On any other day, it's a cup, cup-and-a-half, heck maybe even two cups.
As for those snooty 110 calories, there are less than that in 125 ml of white wine, red wine, beer - even most coolers. 
Sooo, Skinny Frankel-Girl Cocktails? Thank you, no.  I'll have a glass of my favourite $10 shiraz instead. In fact, make mine a double. It's only 170 calories, after all.

Drunken footnote: Here, for your buzz-killing pleasure, is a sampling of the calories in alcoholic beverages, as quoted on the heart and stroke foundation website
  • Beer 1 bottle (342mL/12oz): 140 calories
  • Wine (125ml/4 ½ oz): 90 calories
  • Coffee Cream Liquor 17% alcohol (45mL /1 ½ oz):172 calories
  • Vodka 40% alcohol (50ml/1½ oz): 109 calories