Wednesday, 1 August 2012

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I SUFFER FOR THIS PARADE

I mentioned yesterday that my countdown to Caribana had begun. (Yes, I know we're calling it the Scotiabank Caribbean Carnival now, but if I called it that in front of my West Indian friends I'd be laughed off the Lakeshore.) In this thrilling down-to-the-wire series, you get to observe my daily preparations as I groom myself for what millions consider the biggest party of the year. 
Yesterday's dilemma was the outfit. (Not going well. I was at the mall last night for two hours and all I came home with was a top I don't like and a blister on my heel.) Today’s dilemma is much more grim. Today's dilemma is . . .

THE HAIR: CURLY VS. STRAIGHT
This would usually be easy, but this year there is an issue, that being the scorched filaments (please see Hairdressers behaving badly) that are now residing where my healthy hair used to be. So the contenders are . . . 






CURLY: Ordinarily, going natural  would be the best choice for Saturday's sweaty, humid bacchanal. Alas, hair this damaged doesn’t want to form a decent curl. It wants to droop from one's head like a hanged man and make moaning noises. 








STRAIGHT: Getting my hair straightened makes it look healthy and sleek as a mink pelt. It's a cunning illusion that makes me extremely happy for about an hour ... until the sweat and humidity turn it to clown fuzz. (Editor's note: Are you seeing the cat in the sink in the background? He is SO not normal.)



DARK HORSE:
Hat

EVEN DARKER HORSE:
Wig

DARKEST HORSE OF ALL:
Peau de soie bag over head

*For more info, check out the official website at Toronto Caribbean Carnival 2012