Saturday, 4 August 2012


Who cares? I'm richer and prettier
 than you and I'm having more fun 
than you ever will, bitches!
Jaguar PS /

I get it that everyone hates Kim Kardashian. She's  stunningly beautiful, mind-bogglingly rich, she can date whoever she wants and then wake up the next day and say, "Today, I think I'll have some Ryan Gosling." (Except that Ryan Gosling would have to be black. And he would totally do that for her, I'm sure.)

What I don't get is that everyone thinks she's stupid.
Oh but is she? Let's examine the evidence.
She owns several clothing lines, a clothing boutique, a fragrance line, her own line of exercise DVDs, her own line of sunless tanners. She's been in movies and TV shows, and she's the main draw in the interminable Keeping Up With the Kardashians. She has an uncanny knack for doing nothing and still making news.

And all of it was built on a rather dubious talent ... the infamous "leaked" sex tape with Ray J, whom you've probably never heard of but that's because he's not as smart as Kim. (Nor does he have monstrous breasts. That would have helped.) That little "oopsie" earned her a whopping $5 million, which compared to her $35M net worth today is pocket change. 

A stupid person could maybe achieve one or two of these things by accident, but all of them? Not likely.
So, if that's what stupid is, then I would like to publicly make this special request of God: 
In my next life, God, can I please come back as someone even stupider than Kim Kardashian? An idiot? A buffoon? An absolute MORON? Because then I wouldn't have to go to university, work 9 to 5, worry about paying my mortgage, drive a limping 1996 Saturn just because it still works, or do any of the things us "smart people" do.
Thank you and Amenian.