Thursday, 30 August 2012

DEAR SAD STRANGER: IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S HIM

I witnessed an incident Monday evening involving a young woman and her partner at a No-Frills in Brampton. It was the kind of incident women would have various reactions to. Me, personally, it just made me sad.

LADIES, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF 
feeling jealous because your husband
looked at THIS, you've got a problem. 
And the problem isn't me. (I've got my 
own problems. Such as why I can't 
stop myself from appearing in public
in a visor that should have been 
put down years ago.)

I've been thinking about it ever since, and have decided I need to write this letter of advice and support to her. So. To the young woman in No-Frills wearing a denim skirt, heavy eyeliner and an unhappy scowl: I couldn't help noticing that you were giving out all kinds of stink-eye to the many women your husband was ogling. Because I was one of those women, and therefore one of the recipients of your stink-eye. What I want to tell you, my sister, is that WE are not the problem. HE is.

I can already see that you are destined for a life of unhappiness with this boor. You are young and pretty and probably very nice, but he is making you doubt all of that.
We've all had one of these charmers in our lives, and here's the thing: They don't change. They just get worse. 
If you ask them, they deny it.
If you confront them, they blame you. 
You start to believe them, especially when the wrinkles and extra pounds creep up. And trust me, the wrinkles and extra pounds always, eventually, creep up. 

And speaking of wrinkles and extra pounds, notice that I showed up at No-Frills in my sweaty gym gear, frizzy hair and battered camouflage visor. I looked, to be blunt, like shit. And yet your hubby's wandering eye strayed my way ... because I am female and within 50 yards of him. With this type of "man," that's all it takes.

It doesn't have to be this way.
My advice to you is this: Dump the turd. 
Seriously. DUMP THE TURD! Do it now, before you breed with him. 
Because although you'd never know it if you spent a Saturday evening at my house, when the girls are gathered and the wine and smack talk are flowing freely, there are some really nice dudes out there. Dudes who will appreciate you. Who will respect you. Who will make you feel good about yourself. Who will actually help you do the grocery shopping instead of turning it into a stomach-wrenching ordeal that leaves you exhausted and full of self-loathing. You should find one of them.They are out there.
But first, you need to DUMP THE TURD. 
That, my sister, is all I wanted to say. Well that, and also I hope you visited the meat department, because there was an amazing deal on pork loin chops. $2.49 a pound!