Wednesday, 15 August 2012


Spotted on English St., Brampton

Spotted on Vodden St., Brampton

Even now, I can scarcely bring myself to speak of it. But it must be said. It has to be said! There is a sinister plot afoot in Brampton to hide the shameful plague of little one-footed children.

I stumbled across their sad plight quite by accident. I was out for a stroll in the city's west end in the evening, peeking in people's brightly lit windows, getting decorating ideas and what-not. 

And suddenly, there it was. A single little pink shoe, sitting on a sidewalk. 
I thought nothing of it, to be honest. I kept walking and peeking, walking and peeking. And then two blocks later, another little pink shoe. A block later, yet another. Not pink, mind you. But a shoe. A single shoe. 

I tell you in all sincerity that a frisson of foreboding skittered up my spine. 
Well, since I missed the shot of the creep peeing underneath the Gardiner (see 'Creep Week'), I make sure to keep my camera on me at all times. So I took a picture of two of the shoes. But at the third shoe, a woman came out of her house.

"What are you doing?" she barked, as if I were some kind of weirdo for prowling around the streets, peeking in people's windows and taking pictures of shoes. She seemed kind of guilty, if you ask me. She snatched up that shoe and practically RAN back into her house. A child was waiting at the door for her.
"Mommy, did you get my shoe?"
"Yes I got your shoe! Now get back inside!"

A-ha, I thought. I mean it's obvious, right? This city is CRAWLING with hidden little one-footed children! They are leaving their shoes out as clues, cries for help as it were.
Since taking these poignant photos, I am haunted by visions of their suffering. 

Mother: "Hey kids! I hear the ice cream truck! C'mon!"
The two-footed children pelt to the door, shrieking with excitement. But the poor little one-footed child can't keep up.
One-footed child: "Mother! Mother! Wait for me, Mother! Let me put on my shoe!" 
But it's too late. The two-footed children are gone and back before the tot can hop to the corner to fetch her souliere and strap it on. It's . . . oh, I can't. I just can't bear it. I'm afraid I'll have to cut this one short and get back to you later. 

Editor's note: Wow. Tragic. So anyway, all this talk of shoes is making me want to go shopping. I hear there's a doozie of a sale on at Aldo!