Sunday, 9 September 2012

WOULD YOU LOVE ME IF I HAD CHINESE EYES?



A friend and I went out for drinks recently at The Keg on the Esplanade. As we sipped our wine (the 9 oz glass, why even OFFER us the 6 oz glass;  do we look like we don't want a good stiff drink?) and waited for our appetizers, we did what all women do when they are out for the evening: we gossiped about the other women in the room. 
After we'd both done a thorough visual take-down, one thing became very apparent. 
"Have you noticed that every guy in here is with an Asian woman?" I said.
My friend looked at me, wide-eyed. "I was just thinking the same thing," she said. "What's with that?" I didn't have an answer. But I certainly had a question. "Why?"

ASIAN ANGEL, WHITE NIGHTMARE 
Asian friend and I enjoying a night 
on the town, completely unaware
 of the preconceptions as to
 our desirability. Thank God.

I have my theories, but I resorted first to that foremost authority: Dr. Google, PhD. And let me just say, if you Google "Asian Women," be sure you don't do it at work. Because what pops up are dozens of sex websites with pictures of Asian women in stereotypical "slut" poses. 
So that might answer some people's "Why."

But what also came up, way down the list, past the Singaporean woman with her arse beckoning fetchingly and degradingly at the same time, was a very interesting article by a writer named Fred Reed. (Why White Men Prefer Asian Women.) 

Fred describes a local sushi bar where all the waitresses are Asian and all the men are dying to date them. He says white women often ask him why the guys are hot for the Asian waitresses, and make their own assumptions. They assume, for example,  it's because Asian women are easy. (Wrong, he says. "American women are easy.")
They assume it's because Asian women are submissive. (Wrong, he says. They expect respect and they get it.)
In fact, according to Fred, the ingredient that makes "almost any Asian more appealing than almost any American" is that they seem to enjoy being feminine and therefore make men want to be masculine, whereas American women dress like men, swear like men and have a huge chip on their shoulder about men. The end result, he says, is a scrotum-dehydrating apparition that men find about as appealing as a visit to the proctologist.

Which is all very interesting and I'm buying all of it until I scroll down and see that Fred Reed is, like, 101 years old. So for him to be trolling bars for desirable young women of any ethnicity is just this side of creepy. For starters.
I happen to think he's a little bit correct about North American women being combative and potty-mouthed. 
But I also thing he's underplaying the Asian Sex Kitten image most men carry around in their Penthouse-schooled minds. 

For the record, I have female friends who are Asian. And who are black. And who are South Asian, Dutch, Portuguese, Guyanese, Sri Lankan, Belizean and Straight-from-Bell-Island Newfie. And based on what I know of each of these lovely women, here is what I think: 
I think people want something different. I think the exotic is alluring. I think sexual stereotypes play a huge role and we're lying if we deny it. 
But at the end of the day, for the normal decent folk among us, it all comes down to that most primal decider of all: compatability. And love. 
In whatever colour you find it.