Saturday, 27 April 2013

DEAR PHILIP: IT'S NOT CUTE WHEN YOU DO IT

FREE WILLY PHILLY 
"Dratted TMZ. I hope I don't get sent to Afghanistan over this."
I hear Prince Philip is in town! (And for our American readers, by "town," I mean Toronto.) To have tea with David Johnston and to present a new regimental colour to the Third Battalion of the Royal Canadian Regiment and other important stuff! And I certainly hope he's wearing pantaloons, because last time he wore a kilt in public it didn't end well. May I refer you to this earlier post (October 2012), which I already ran but which is so brilliant and timely I feel it deserves to be resurrected. And perhaps even read by our Prince P hisself!

Emboldened by the maelstrom of publicity young Harry got when his privates went viral, Grandpa Philip, husband of the Queen of England, tried a little flesh flash of his own this weekend. So let me do a little scene-setting. Scotland. Highland Games. Prince Philip. 91 years of age. Kilt. Legs wide open. Spotted Dick. AAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGH!! MY EYES! (I repeat: 91 years of age.) 
The event marked the first time the nonogenarian has been seen in public since being hospitalized for a bladder infection. And may I just say, "Wow, Prince P. Way to make a comeback."

EDITOR'S NOTE: Attempts to contact the Prince's representatives for comment didn't go well. "WHORRIFIED? What sort of bloody name is that? You're one of them birds what got our Harry into trouble, aren't you? BUGGER OFF before we beat you with one of Camilla's hoary hats!" 

If you'd like to see a photo of a 91-year-old's privates . . . well first of all, what is WRONG with you? And second, it's on TMZ, although they gave it a rather tasteful "treatment." Click here (eek!) for the link.