Monday, 17 September 2012


Look at this face! Someone must be dating 
this face! And I want to know who. 
WHO, gaddamit?

I went to The Eden Mills Writers Festival on Saturday. I don't usually go in for "festivals" unless they are outdoors and involve Caribbean food, dancing and feathered costumes, but this one had the lure of Jian Ghomeshi as a keynote speaker. For those who aren't aware, Ghomeshi is the guy who brought CBC Radio back from the near-dead. He's the butter-smooth host of Q, purveyor of thoughtful, indepth interviews, endurer of world's biggest interview buffoon, Billy Bob Thornton, and a first-time author. (1982 arrives in bookstores this week.)

He is also the closest thing grown women have to One Direction. 
The excited, estrogen-loaded lineup to see this guy was unbelievable. There were tween girls, teen girls, young women, middle-aged women, old women, mothers with infants, lined up by the hundreds, out the door and around the block. Anyway, Ghomeshi read from his book and then opened the floor to questions. "Ask me anything. It doesn't have to be about the book . . . it can be about absolutely anything." 
And the one question I wanted to ask, because no one ever asks it, is "Are you dating anyone? And if not, why not?"  

I wanted to ask this not because I am secretly interested in dating him (or anyone else for that matter), but because this has actually become one of the Sphinx-like mysteries of Canada's social scene. I mean, the guy is 45, whip-smart, funny, gregarious, successful, attractive, apparently decent, family-oriented and heterosexual. Yet you never, ever hear about his romantic involvements.
"He's a workaholic," explained one friend. 
"He's shy," said another. 
"No, he's just . . . like, probably most women just seem stupid to him," opined another.
"Actually he probably dates like crazy but Canadians don't report about stuff like that," said yet another.
None of these answers satisfied, because none of them were coming from the ghomesh's mouth.
Being of a nosy inquisitive nature, I should have been the one to put up my hand and ask the question. But I couldn't because I didn't want everyone to gawk at me and think, "Yeah, the cougar wants to know if you're available." 
So until Canada gets a plague of paparrazi locusts such as has afflicted the U.S., or until I drum up the nerve to ask him my damn self, this will remain a mystery. 
In the meantime, I will have to content myself with looking for clues in 1982. So far, "Wendy" is looking like a person of interest . . . 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Here's a clue! In this interview (, Jian describes himself as "romantic!" And . . . well that's all he says about that, but still. It's a clue. Sort of.
SMARTER EDITOR'S NOTE: Holy shit. And then this happened ...