Wednesday, 24 October 2012

WHITNEY, IF YOU'RE WATCHING, YOU SHOULD STOP

NICK GORDON & BOBBI KRISTINA
You could also refer to them 
as brother and sister. 
Or husband and wife. 
Or dad and mom. 
Or simply and most fittingly as 
Every Kind of Wrong Imaginable.
Photo: Paul Smith/Featureflash


If I polished off an entire magnum of wine and then decided to sit down and make up the most salacious rumour ever. . . well first of all, I'd have to give up before I even started, because the real news of Bobbi Kristina marrying her sorta brother pretty much trumps anything you can make up. 
Except, perhaps, for this.
Apparently she's pregnant. 

According to MediaTakeout.com (which, admittedly, sometimes gets stuff totally right and sometimes just makes shit up), Whitney Houston's daughter has been impregnated by her brother-fiance. 
Excuse me for a moment. I actually have to throw up. 
I'm not even kidding.
. . . . . . .
OK ... eeergh, nope, still queasy. 'Scuse me again.
Whew. So, yes, last month, Bobbi Kristina sent Hollywood reeling by announcing her engagement to Nick Gordon, the kid her mom adopted and raised as her brother. (And at the time, we thought THAT was the juicy news!)

Today, several reliable websites are reporting the pregnancy shocker, all of them noting that it comes from MediaTakeout. But my Spidey senses are telling me this horrid little story is just creepy enough to be true. Because:  
A) Bobbi Kristina is one mixed-up kid.
B) Every pic I've seen of her with her brother-fiance shows him groping her and her grinning like a hyena.
C) The remains of this once-great family is now prostituting itself by making The Houstons: On Our Own, which they began filming just THREE MONTHS after Whitney died. It airs today, and in reality show math, Incest + Pregnancy = Ratings Goose. 

Of course, it'll soon be obvious whether this grotesque rumour is true or not. In the meantime, if you can stomach it, here's the link to the "baby bump" photos, at Brotherbabybump.

Editor's note: I notice that everybody refers to Bobbi Kristina as "Whitney Houston's daughter." Why doesn't anyone mention her sleazy drug addict father, Bobby Brown?
My note: I think you just answered your own question there, pal.