CHRIS BROWN PLACES AN AD TO DUMP GIRLFRIEND

SEE YA, WHAT'S YER NAME! 
It's been fun ... but not as much fun 
as public-bathroom sex with Rihanna!
CreStock photo

Chris Brown has finally manned up and done the honourable thing. Well, not really ... but as close to honourable as this dude's ever gonna get. After publicly humiliating his pretend-girlfriend Karrueche Tran with a string of nasty hookups with Rihanna (who is suffering from that special brand of creeping amnesia only bad boys can inspire), he has decided to let Karrueche down gently. By taking out a frickin' open statement in US Weekly:

“I have decided to be single to focus on my career,” he says. “I love Karrueche very much but I don’t want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna. I’d rather be single allowing us to both be happy in our lives.”

Which in street parlance translates to "I'm really enjoying whoring around with RiRi again and she seems willing enough, but the public outcry is ruining the buzz. So, hey, Karrueche, thanks for . . . whatever. Later!"