NELLY RIDING THE TOUR BUS TO NOWHERE, FAST

ENDANGERED SPECIES 
Former habitat: Top of the charts.
Current habitat: The grey area 
between WTF and It's Not Too Late.

 Carrienelson1/Dreamstime

For those of you who have been wondering whatever happened to formerly awesome rapper Nelly, I may have an answer. He may have turned into a drug dealer. Or he may just be innocently driving around in his tour bus, not recording any rap songs at all, with people who are engaging in drug dealing without his knowledge. 

Regardless of which of those two stories is true, here is what we DO know: Nelly was detained last night  when police officers searched his tour bus — and found 36 baggies of heroin, ten pounds of weed and a loaded gun. (What, no crack? Really, officer. Let these people go!)

Nelly’s bus was stopped at a border patrol checkpoint in Sierra Blanca, Texas, with seven people on board. One of the passengers, Brian Keith Jones, later admitted the drugs and the gun were his and was arrested, and Nelly and the other five were let go. When his heart finally stopped pounding, Nelly made a statement to the press. TMZ reports that he said, and I quote: "It is my understanding a member of my staff made an unfortunate decision to bring unlawful materials onto our tour bus that resulted in his arrest this morning. Neither I nor anyone else on the tour bus was aware of his decision to bring these on board. Law enforcement officials did not  press charges against anyone other than that individual.”
Which, as anyone who has listened to any of his songs knows, is EXACTLY how Nelly talks.

Editor's note: Sheesh. Can someone please remind this guy that he used to be one of the best?