Monday, 18 November 2013


ziplining, Mismaloya, Mexico,
WHAT WAS I THINKING? (This: "Whoever invented ziplining must have been on crack.")

Ah, ziplining. For sheer, pants-wetting terror, it's pretty hard to beat. Some people like the thrill of soaring over rainforests at heights of 1,500 feet. Some people like that you can reach speeds of up to 160 km/h, and that you sometimes stop and dangle upside-down over a thundering river. Because, clearly, some people are crazy. 
"Oh, it's okay, you wear a helmet," the guide said in a laughable attempt at soothing me. Yes, because when I am flying more than 1,500 feet above a thundering river and the cable snaps, that plastic helmet will be what saves me from otherwise certain death. "Seriously, it's fun," he wheedled. No, parties are fun. Shopping is fun. Lying on a sandy beach is fun. Plummeting to your doom in a remote jungle while monkeys look on and screech, "What a friggin' idiot!" is the exact opposite of fun.
Which is why this photo of me pretending to zipline is the closest I got (or ever will get) to ziplining. I am at peace with my decision.