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|Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima, one of the pug-ugly crones |
who'll walk the Victoria's Secret runway on Dec. 4.
No I am referring to the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. It is mere weeks away, and I know everyone is wondering the same thing: How are those grotesque supermodels going to make themselves presentable in time for the big event? They're such gargoyles every other day of the year, yet they are expected to be GODDESSES come showtime. My heart pangs for the poor hideous beasts.
But hold on! Apparently they have a strange secret regimen to help get them on track, and thanks to some Pulitzer-worthy investigative journalism, Celebuzz gossip website has learned the shocking details.
We're talking diets, here. We're talking working out. We're talking drinking lots of water, lifting weights, cutting out junk food and getting extra sleep. I know! It's just whacko!
But does it work? Let's take a look and see. Hmm. HMMM! Are those really . . . how can anyone's legs be . . . merglfmph ... erggghh. Must look away ... Urge to kill rising ...
Why, God? Why do you play favourites? WHYYYY????
Editor's Note: *Yawn.* This is so sad. I have to actually try to drum up some enthusiasm for this boring bloody show, like anybody cares. So here we go: Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2012 airs Dec. 4, 10/9C p.m., only on CBS. Starring Adriana Lima, Deutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Sajbzzz-z-z-z-z-z-zzzz . . . huh? Sorry! What?