TWO THINGS LAGERFELD HATES: FATTIES AND THINKING

Karl Lagerfeld: Omigod! Is that Adele? 
 She is fatter than ever! She must be 
eating crisps at every meal! She . . .   
Handler: Pssst, Karl. She's pregnant! 
 Karl: Oh. Well, I hope she 
doesn't have a fat baby.
Photo: ImageCollect/CreStock

Creepy Chanel draugr Karl Lagerfeld slipped past his handlers again and appeared on Britain's Channel 4, where he proceeded to offend almost everyone who doesn't have an eating disorder. Having learned absolutely nothing from the outrage his comments about British singer Adele being "a little too fat" sparked, the 79-year-old reiterated his theory that models should be skinny and so should everyone else. 

Because according to Karl, there are only two kinds of women: pretty, skinny women and "fat mummies." And you don't want to be one of those, because as Karl will tell you, fat mummies are boring lardasses who do nothing but sit around "with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly."
Here's an actual snippet from the interview: 

Reporter: “You think it’ll be OK for women to be fat in the future?” 
Lagerfeld: “Unfortunately, yes.” 
Reporter: “But not OK now?"  
Lagerfeld: "No."

Fashion is all about "dreams and illusions," he said. "And no one wants to see round women." 
Yes, well you know what else no one wants, Karl? Advice from the undead. Now off you go, before I open this JUMBO-SIZED BAG OF CRISPS and start eating it right in front of you! 
Lagerfeld: No-o-o-o! Aayyyyyyeeeeeeeeek!