Tuesday, 16 October 2012


Rihanna, looking dull and unattractive as usual, 
on the cover of Vogue's November issue.

The first thing I thought when I heard Rihanna and Chris Brown were back together was, "But what if he hits her again?" Actually, no, that's wrong. The first thing I thought was, "Thank God I won't have to hear any more stories about them sneaking off to have sex in a public bathroom," because THAT made me have "holding" issues for a week.

But the hitting is definitely a more pressing concern. Because beaters tend to be repeat offenders, and love doesn't have much to do with it. This thought apparently also occurred to Rihanna's mentor, Jay-Z. He reportedly pulled Chris aside at one of his concerts last week and told him, "If you ever hurt Rihanna emotionally or physically again I will see to it that your career is over." And trust me, Jigga has that kind of power in the music industry. 

So that just gave Rihanna the best protection she could ever ask for. Maybe even too much protection. Because from now on, Chris is going to be shadowing her everywhere she goes, yelping, "Ack! Watch out for that door! Look out! Don't bump your shin on that end table! OMIGOD is that a bruise? Where did you get that? Are you trying to get me KILLED????"