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| HEY! YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! And my boyfriend doesn't like her either. And your costume sucks, cuz everyone knows Chaddie doesn't drink Jack Daniels, he drinks vodka! Photo: CreStock |
What has happened is that Chad Kroeger, Chad Kroeger of friggin NICKELBACK, has earned my grudging respect. Not for proposing to Avril Lavigne ... are you kidding me? I can't wait till their wedding night when he peels back the sk8tr gear and finds out he married a singing ferret! No, what I'm talking about is the fact that Chad has defended his bride's honour and cracked a pretty damn good joke at the same time.
It started when Avril's ex, rocker Deryck Whibley of Sum 41, and his model girlfriend Ari Cooper dressed up as Avril and Chad for a Halloween party. Whibley wore a streaked blond wig and heavy eye makeup, while Ari wore a curly wig and Jack Daniels T-shirt.
The stunt didn't go unnoticed by Kroeger, who promptly swiped back on Twitter: "Hey Deryck loved the costumes! We were going to dress up as you guys this year but all the parties had celebrity themes!"
After checking the weather forecast to see whether, in fact, hell had frozen over, I had to admit to a grudging admiration.
Here's the link to the pic that stirred Chad's manly wrath, at Chavril-ish. And may I just say, not only is Deryck one unattractive Avril, but his girlfriend is an even less attractive Chad. Also, is this just a bad angle, Deryck, or is your girlfriend really 10 whole inches taller than you? Cuz if so, guess what? Chad and Avril actually make a cuter couple than you two do.
And now I have to go and lie down, because my head feels funny and the world just doesn't make sense anymore.
I met Nickleback's entertainment lawyer a couple days ago (Yes Virginia, there is an Entertainment lawyer). Fortuitously, he used to be a criminal lawyer. And by criminal lawyer, I mean he used to practise criminal law...and by practise, I mean...well, never mind. Law is nebulous and arcane, and not meant for the minions to understand anyway. The salient point here, I contend, is that his "practice" consists of smoking, drinking and getting high...and if you were Chad Kroeger's lawyer, and hanging out with the likes of Avril Lavigne and Carly Rae Jepson (true story), you would have a law practice based on substance abuse as well. And the moral of the story? I'm going to open that second bottle of wine, and screw reading Constitutional law for tonight....
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read your comment I thought it said "I am Nickelback's entertainment lawyer" and thought HOLY FECK! I'm being sued! What did I say about Chad Kroeger? I didn't diss his hair or his awful taste in child brides, did I? And then I continued reading and have never known such enjoyment or relief. Thank you, counsel, and welcome to the blogosphere.
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