TWO MORE SLEEPS TILL THE DONALD'S 'BIG NEWS'

I HAVE A SECRET! A BIG SECRET! 
I can't tell you what it is right now because 
it's so big it might just make your head blow up! 
Photo: CreStock

Donald Trump's attempts to insert himself into the presidential race in some sort of meaningful fashion are ramping up to very big warp speed. The shameless Romney supporter called tmz.com Monday with a cryptic message about potentially election-altering "big news" he will be releasing about Barack Obama on Wednesday. He coyly deflected any requests to elaborate, noting, "I will say this, it's a big fact. It's going to be very big. I know one thing, you will cover it in a big fashion." 

After beating this nonsensical horse to death on tmz, he then moved on to Twitter, where he tweeted, "Stay tuned for my big Obama announcement . . . It's very big. Bigger than anybody would know." 

So I think what he's trying to say here is, it's big. Very big. Like, big big. Bigger than a breadbox. Bigger than Biggie. Biggity Bobbity Boo. When you're this big, they call you Donald. Bigger than . . . ah, whatevs. 

The man is a combed-over ninny. Whatever "big news" he has (and I'll bet big money it has something to do with Obama's birth certificate, which The Donald has been bleating about for months, apparently oblivious to the fact that nobody cares) will just have to wait.
Nevertheless, I am looking forward to Wednesday. Because evidently, this is gonna be BIG! 

Editor's note: Hmm. Interesting. So I'm wondering, do you think Donald's hair ever sleeps?
My note: Hello. How are you? I am sad. Because my editor is a big ninny. He is a very big ninny. I know one thing, I am going to fire him in a big fashion . . . on Wednesday.