Friday, 12 October 2012

WE'RE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER WORD FOR 'WRONG'

Nick Gordon with his sister-wife, Bobbi Kristina.  
(Bobbi, hon, you're going to need
a MUCH bigger cross...)
Paul Smith/Featureflash/crestock photo

The good news: The late Whitney Houston’s only child, 19-year-old Bobbi Kristina, is engaged to be married.
The bad news: To her brother . . .

So let's see, how many kinds of wrong is this? First of all, the girl lost her mother in a most tragic and shattering way barely eight months ago. So maybe this is not a good time to be making life-altering decisions. 
Then there’s the fact that Bobbi Kristina, who inherited a whopping $20 million, might very well look like a flashing “JACKPOT!!!” sign to all the wrong people.
Third, did I mention HE’S HER FRIGGIN BROTHER!?!

Ok fine, he’s her adopted brother. But they were raised together as brother and sister and the only thing that could make this creepier is if Woody Allen officiated at their creepy wedding and said, “Mazel tov, and I hope you have a beautiful daughter some day so that I can marry her!”

Not surprisingly, news of the engagement isn't sitting too well with Bobbi's family. Apparently they frown on kin marrying kin, and also on future husbands who tweet photos of themselves brandishing a gun (click  HERE to see the pic). Belatedly realizing his lapse in judgment, the brother-groom moved swiftly to redeem himself by tweeting a pic of a huge sapphire engagement ring that he might have stolen at gunpoint.
Now, some of you might be wondering "but what about Bobbi Kristina's dad, Bobby Brown? Could he not intervene?"
Well, he could, except that they're not on speaking terms. And he is currently booked on a world tour of crackhouses. And he is probably even more of a concern to the family than the brother-groom is. So the answer to that would be "no." But it was sweet of you to at least try.

Editor's note: I'm sure it is pure coincidence that the Houstons are poised to debut their new "reality" show, The Houstons: On Our Own. It airs Oct. 24 . . .  and if I were the Kardashians, I would be shaking in my $5,000 Italian kitten-skin boots.