Wednesday, 14 November 2012

AND THE OSCAR FOR BEST DEPRIVATION GOES TO . . .

Vogue, December 2012

Near Deathaway graces the cover of December's Vogue magazine looking like she's been subsisting on nothing but dust and oatmeal paste for the past six months. Which, as it turns out, is  EXACTLY what she has been doing.

The actress tells Vogue she starved herself relentlessly for her role in Les Miserables and also endured the horror of a really ugly haircut. The kind of hack job you'd kick your hairdresser for, yet which was probably performed by some moody, fit-throwing Hollywood stylist who then billed the movie studio fifteen grand. 

Preparing to play the part of dying 19th-century prostitute Fantine, the already super-thin Anne shed an additional 25 lbs thanks to a diet consisting almost entirely of kale and oatmeal paste. 

 
“I had to be obsessive about it," Anne tells Vogue. "The idea was to look near death." Well I'd say you nailed it, sister. And call me crazy, but isn't this what MAKEUP is for? (Take a peek at Anne's anguished look right here. You just KNOW she's looking at a big cheeseburger she can't have.)
 
Anne is just the latest overzealous actor to latch onto the hottest new trend in Hollywood ... wilfull starvation ... thereby adding creepy glam to an affliction most supermodels have to go to rehab for. In case you  haven't seen Matthew McConaughey lately, here's what he has done to his body to "prepare" for a role in The Dallas Buyers Club. (Warning: This will scare the living sh*t out of you and also send you headlong into the nearest Krispy Kreme outlet, screaming, "I'LL HAVE ONE OF EVERYTHING!") Click on Eeek! 

Editor's note: Great plagues of locusts! I like it a lot better when he "prepares" for movies like Magic Mike.