SHOWERING THE HOMELESS WITH LOVE AND BUMPERS

YOU ALWAYS HURT THE ONES YOU LOVE
Russell Brand's passion for homeless people
 took an ugly turn yesterday when 
he bulldozed into one of them. 
Photo/CreStock


 

Creepy Jesus has a new hobby. Having tired of humping the legs of former Spice girls, yoga instructors and anyone who looks a bit like Katy Perry, the scrufftastic Russell Brand has decided that what he's really into is homeless people. 

Yes, Creepy Jesus (that's my pet name for him; with apologies to Actual Jesus) has a real soft spot for the disenfranchised and tries to look like them at all times. Last week, he took a bunch of homeless people out for breakfast at the Newsroom Cafe in West Hollywood. On another occasion, he brought one of his street brethren home to take a meal and a soak in his own personal bathtub.

But, as ultimately happens with all things Brand "loves," his passion has begun to take an ugly turn. Early yesterday morning, while driving around in his Range Rover and watching porn on his dashboard monitor, Brand somehow crashed into a homeless man’s grocery cart full of belongings, sending them hither and yon.

To his credit, Brand did immediately rush to the homeless man's aid. (Because you never know: that guy might have some way cool gear you could borrow and it would totally look like vintage Lulu. And also, he probably likes the drink ... and might even have a flask on him.)

Brand: Holy hair of the downward dog!!!! I am SO sorry, my brother; I didn't even see you! I thought you were a pile of laundry! 
Homeless man: Ditto, buddy. Nice leg warmers. 
Brand: Have you had a chance to break your fast? Allow me to take you to the IHOP to repay you for the horror I just put you through.
Homeless man: IHOP? Dude, you're driving a Range Rover! Just give me a couple of Benjamins and buzz off! 

Of course, tmz.com ... who I am beginning to think has microchipped every celebrity in Hollywood ...  was on the scene and has footage of the moments immediately after the crash. Take a peek here. And if you can figure out what the hell Russell is wearing in these pix, you can tell me. Cuz I haven't the foggiest notion, but if there is an official "sherpa/mental-patient" uniform, I bet it looks EXACTLY like this.