Saturday, 3 November 2012

CELEBRITIES BEHAVING BADLY. ALLEGEDLY . . .

DO I LOOK 'GUILTY' TO YOU, SUCKA? 
 I know it's hard to believe by looking at this sweet face, 
but rapper Flavor Flav is one of scads of celebs to have
been arrested recently for assaulting loved ones. 
Allegedly, of course. Always allegedly.  

Photo: CreStock


It's been quite an edgy few weeks in Hollywood. The tension is palpable (and I'm not sure why but I'm sure the Kardashians have something to do with it); celebrities are feeling tetchy and taking their frustrations out on, well, people's faces, mostly. 
Consider the following, bearing in mind of course that all of these incidents are "alleged" and that, so far, no one has been convicted: 

Rapper Webbie Arrested for "allegedly" brawling with a woman in his hotel room and then kicking her down the stairs. (If I had a nickel for every date that ended this way...)
R&B singer Cee-Lo Arrested for "allegedly" drugging and sexually assaulting a woman he had dinner with. (And I'm sorry, I don't find that hard to believe at all. Because who in their right mind would have sex with this guy sober?)
Actor Michael Nouri (of Flashdance fame. The original Flashdance, for those of you who aren't one hundred and eleventy years old). Arrested after a fight with his girlfriend allegedly went from verbal to physical. (Lord, you people. Haven't you heard the phrase "Use your words?")
Actress Taryn Manning Alleged to have punched and choked her personal assistant in her hotel room. (At the very least, guilty of cribbing Naomi Campbell's patented moves.)
Actress Miley Cyrus Accused of assaulting some random guy in a bar. (One hates to stereotype, but one does expect this sort of behaviour from the children of mullet-wearers.)
Rapper Flavor Flav Arrested for allegedly punching, biting and swearing at his fiancee of 8 years. (Fiancee of 8 years? Dude! No wonder she's pissed!)
Singer Paulina Rubio Arrested for allegedly beating the crap out of her personal assistant after he booked her in coach seats to Mexico instead of first class. (Uhm, yes, because obviously this is how "first-class" people behave, right?)

And ... well there are more, but you know what? It would be faster to just tell you who HASN'T been charged with assault. Let me see *consults very short list* Hmm. So far, it's looking like Tom Hanks, Robert Pattinson and Beyonce.