CHILD COMFORTS HER AFFLICTED NUTBALL MOTHER

ME WITH MY LOVING DAUGHTER
She's 27. Which of course, if you 
do the math, means I gave birth to her 
before I was even born.

Every woman has her own story of the moment she realized she was no longer a young hottie. Mine came when a good-looking stranger I would have flirted with at an earlier stage of life held a door open for me. 
"Thank you," I said, smiling.
"You're welcome, ma'am," he replied politely.

Ma'am? Ma'am?!? He might as well have punched me between the eyes and said, "No problem, you 207-year-old hag!"

That's when I realized that this young man, and more importantly, everyone in the whole world, now saw me as a middle-aged woman. 
I was so rattled I went home and told my daughter about it. She didn't really get it. (Ohhhh, but she will, some day.)
"He was just being polite," she said.
"No, he was being deferential," I said. "I'm not ready to be respected by people just because I'm their elder."  

"Aww, don't worry, Mom," my daughter said, hugging me. "We'll never respect you."
And the strange thing is, that actually made me feel better.