|SAWYER OVER-GREETS EMMA THOMPSON. HILARITY ENSUES |
"Hi Dia… Ow. OW! Fer fuck’s sake, you’re hurting my face! (Geez, is she drunk again!?)"
So the big, perhaps the biggest, question in the wake of Tuesday's presidential election is: WTF? Was Diane Sawyer drunk, on meds, or just, as ABC is desperately insisting, really tired?
The legendary TV anchor, who has interviewed everyone from Fidel Castro to Whitney Houston, was in particularly fine form for Tuesday night's election coverage. She was slurring her words, she was rambling, she was making weird non-sequiturs, she was ... well, she was going a pretty dang good impression of a drunk, is what she was doing.
Her bizarre behaviour did not go unnoticed, and within minutes, Twitter was ablaze with speculation. ABC moved swiftly to tamp down the damage, with various sources assuring various other sources that Diane was jober as a sudge, noting: "Diane’s fine, she’s exhausted."
Rrrrrright. Because when I'm exhausted, I talk like thisss, verrrry shlowly, and I sshay sshilly thingsh and I . . . WHOOO! . . . I hang on to the floor to keep from falling off! Because . . . people in China are watching, and . . . and we need music! Where is the music?
Of course, Diane's not talking, probably because she's sleeping off her exhaustion, so we'll just have to decide for ourselves. What do you think, folks? Watch the video below and tell me, is Diane Sawyer drunk, doped, or just "tired?"