Thursday, 22 November 2012

THANKSGIVING BRAWL BREAKS OUT AT HALLE'S HOME

YOU'D THINK PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE THIS 
WOULD HAVE IT EASY ... 
And yet I'll wager that Mama June and Honey Boo Boo 
had a much happier Thanksgiving than now exes 
Gabriel Aubry and Halle Berry did.
Photo/CreStock


In a rare departure from my default mode of poisonous snarkasm, I rather sombrely bring you shocking news of a shocking melee at Halle Berry's house that pretty much guarantees her kid's Thanksgiving is ruined for good. 

You may remember that beautiful Halle and hot French-Canadian model Gabriel Aubry melded their souls and nether regions just long enough to have a daughter, Nahla, now 4. Then things soured and they went through a vicious custody battle, in which Halle lost her bid to move to France with Nahla and her new fiance, actor Olivier Martinez. (Whom I am unable to find attractive because he's ugly. And also, apparently, a brute.)

Then this morning, Aubry was dropping Nahla off to celebrate Thanksgiving with Halle and Martinez, and words ... bad words ... bad French words ... were exchanged between Aubry and Martinez. And a fight worthy of Ryan O'Neal and his utterly dysfunctional brood erupted.

Aubry allegedly swung at Martinez and then it was pure fisticuffs and lunging bodies as a horrified Halle and Nahla looked on. Both men were injured and hospitalized, with Aubry suffering a pulverized face and a broken rib and Martinez suffering a broken hand and neck injuries. Aubry has been arrested and is now gagging down a Thanksgiving meal of jailbird and stuffing. When he's released, he will be ordered not to come within 100 yards of his family.
On the plus side, if Halle were to apply again for permission to take Nahla to France for good, I'm thinking she'd win. 

EDITOR'S NOTE: That was "a departure" from snarkasm?
MY NOTE: Well, as close to departure as I get, yes. Hey, just be thankful I didn't post the picture of Gabriel Aubry's post-fight face. I call it The Picasso.