Sunday, 18 November 2012

THEN THERE WAS THE TIME MY MOM KILLED MY BLOG

TAKEN IN THE YEAR 2012 A.D. (of blog)
This was the first pic I took after I got my new phone and  before I killed every pic on my blog. Good picture quality, but perhaps not quite worth the agony that ensued.

Some of the more observant of you, and also the less observant of you . . . in fact, just about anyone with at least one eye . . . may have noticed that terrible things happened to the photos on my soon-to-be-award-winning blog last week. Meaning they disappeared and turned into big black boxes. 
All of them, one by one, slowly and terrifyingly, in front of my very eyes.
This caused a goodly amount of sheer skin-clawing panic, I can assure you. I shrieked and cursed and blamed hackers, viruses, Blogger and the Prince of Darkness himself. (I dated him once. He would totally do that to me.) 
At around the same time, I purchased a gorgeous new phone. I already had a perfectly good phone, but I decided to upgrade because my mom repeatedly pointed out that it took lousy, unblogworthy photos. 
“They make your face look long and your nose look big,” she would say. Often.
And while I don’t think we can really blame the phone for my horse face and big nose, it WAS an excellent excuse to get the slim, sexy new Galaxy II LTE.

ON THE OTHER HAND, THIS PIC ...
Taken with (and of) my new phone, 
looks kind of grainy. As photos taken 
in dimly lit public bathrooms often do. 
Sometimes I creep my own self out.



I was thrilled to bits with the sleek new technobeauty. And while I noticed that it did not surgically correct my too-long face and too-big nose, at least both are now crystal clear. But I also noticed that ALL of my blog pix were showing up on my phone. "Well that’s just a waste of space," I thought. So I deleted them.
Long pause. 
That’s right. 
I deleted them. 

And just like that, without a warning from the goddam phone that it was about to take me down screaming, they were gone.
The next day, the photos began to disappear off the blog. Because somehow the phone had been magically synced WITHOUT MY PERMISSION to my blog. Good steaming lord.
I’ll spare you the boring bits between how I figured that out and the epic tantrum I threw afterwards, but I will just say that the pics are being painstakingly re-uploaded, all 654 of them, while I weep and moan and gnash my teeth on a vodka bottle. Please bear with me; they'll all be back. And I am never, ever upgrading my phone again. You hear me, mom? Never!

Editor's note: So what you have done here is, you have cunningly placed the blame on your own mother.
My note: This is why bad things happen to me. Because I’m a b*tch.