|ALLURE, DECEMBER 2012 |
Featuring Keira Knightley
(I must have missed the official announcement,
but apparently this is international
bosom-baring month. Enjoy!)
Since you launched your off-with-everything campaign to familiarize the world with every mole and dimple on your body, magazine execs are starting to expect it. They're bored if actresses show up in a thong. "What, are we in a cold snap or something? You gotta dress like Sister Mary Chastity? Take some of that off, fer cryin' out loud!"
How else to explain the recent rash of celebrities peeling for magazine cover photo shoots? Latest contestant: Keira Knightley on the December cover of Allure.
Unfortunately for Keira, her cover comes off looking like the nerd's version of Rihanna's GQ cover. They may even have used the same jacket. (What's more, some overzealous photoshop intern appears to have gone berserk with erase button and totally removed the poor girl's right nipple.)
Well this trend is going to have to stop somewhere. And I personally hope it stops at Inside the Pentagon magazine. Cuz nobody wants to see Hillary Clinton naked. Not even Bill...