Thursday, 13 December 2012

ANNE HATHAWAY ACCIDENTALLY GOES COMMANDO


Anne Hathaway sure knows how to boost a movie premiere. The Les Miserables star, apparently still in character as Fantine the hooker, arrived at the movie’s premiere wearing nothing but a sexy gown, bondage boots and a smile. Which quickly turned into a gasp. 

Because although the bondage boots were supposed to have stolen the show, her crotch upstaged them by flashing itself AGAINST ANNE'S WISHES while she was exiting the limo for her red carpet moment. And, well, there's no point wearing bondage boots once you’ve put that out there. You might as well be wearing Crocs, because nobody, but NOBODY, is going to be looking at your feet.

Anne is reportedly devastated by the slip. And so are the Les Miz publicity crew. Just DEVASTATED. Because people can’t stop talking about it and Googling it and ogling it and it’s all just been awful for Les Miz business. (Which btw is the dreariest, most depressing piece of shit musical I’ve ever seen and if the movie is any better it will be a miracle. But I digress. Somewhat.) 

However, one must try to be positive. So: what's the lesson here, Anne? Maybe just that, since this accidental vajay-jay flash has happened to so many others before you, you should know by now that if you go commando the paps are going to be waiting for your happy place to make an appearance. In fact, maybe that should be the first thing that crosses your mind when you decide to skip the undies.

And if you still want to take that chance, perhaps you should have an assistant whose sole job it is to follow you around all night shrieking “VAGINA!” “VAGINA!” every time you're on the verge of doing something pornographic. 

Unless, of course, you meant to accidentally flash your perfectly shaved fun muffin all along. In which case, bravo! Bull's eye!

Editor's note: Anyone want to see the shocking bondage boots et cetera? No? Thought not. Don't click here then.