Friday, 28 December 2012

BRITNEY HAS BAD LUCK ... AND BAD TASTE

BRITNEY AND K-FED IN 2004
Brit is holding K-Fed's younger, 
smaller-penised brother, C-Fed. 
Or maybe a chihuahua. Not sure 
which, but I do know they 
both have small penises. 
Photo/CreStock


And from our "breeding will tell" files, we have this delightful dysfunctional family vignette from the soiled Spears-Federline gene pool. Because Britney isn't having a bad enough day yet, teetering as she is on the brink of being fired as a judge on X-Factor.

Let me set up this story by sharing a little-known fact: Britney's ex, K-Fed, has a younger brother named Chris. A younger brother who looks EXACTLY like him; in fact the only way you can tell them apart is that C-Fed has a smaller penis and is even more of a scumbag than K-Fed is.
So anyway, Fed the younger has filed a restraining order against Britney because she laughed at his small penis. He says Britney recently stole his Capital One card (and I'm sure his fantastic credit limit enabled her to go on a bacchanalian spree consisting of two packs of gum and some chewin' tabacky). When he confronted her, he says, she laughed at him and told him he "has a small penis."

And how would she know this, one might ask? C-Fed is happy to supply the obvious answer.

The reason Britney knows this is because he slept with her, while she was married to his brother and he was married to some other poor woman, and he is in fact the father of her older son. And while he is okay with multiple layers of infidelity and shagging his own brother's wife, he draws the line at petty theft. (Cuz, bitch, you know he needed that credit card to pay his weed man!)

C-Fed tells the National Enquirer that Britney "blackmailed" him by saying that if he told the police she nicked his card, she would tell the world he is Sean Preston's real father. 

"I do confess I slept with Britney and I am the true father, but the public does not need to know," he brayed ... to a gossip magazine with a worldwide circulation of about 1 million. All of them mildly retarded, mind you, but still. Word gets out ...

Editor's Note: This is soooo disturbing. I mean, why would a man tell the world that he has a small penis?

My note: That's what you got out of this?
Editor's note: Well, that and the infidelity and the theft and the illegitimate child ... but ... do you think he really has a small penis?
My note: You know, I just don't think we can work together anymore.