Spanish authorities released a picture of two bags containing nearly three pounds of cocaine that were removed from the suspect's chest. According to CNN, the woman was travelling from Colombia when a nosy and quite possibly lesbian female officer noticed during a lovingly thorough pat-down that she had bloodied bandages under one of her breasts.
The suspect reportedly gave vague answers as to why she and her mammoth three-pound breasts were in town. Police promptly booked her and took her to a hospital. (They don't mess around in Barcelona. "Why are you here and why are your boobs bleeding?" "I ... uh..." "Guards! Seize her!")
There, a medical team extracted a prosthesis stuffed with $50,000 worth of cocaine from each breast. The woman was immediately jailed on drug trafficking charges and this, I'm guessing, is what her first postcard home said: "In jail. Just effing great. I went from being a cocaine-packing double-D to being a flat-chested criminal. Worst. Trip. Ever. P.S. Send pesos."
Editor's note: Well if you're going to be a killjoy, you've at least gotta give the ladies some options. Here are some substances you CAN fill your implants with that won't land you a tenner in the penitentiary. A) Sambuca B) Gin C) Dishwashing liquid D) Tapioca E) Hummus F) That gooey stuff they put in Cadbury Easter Creme Eggs G)