Wednesday, 19 December 2012

JANICE DICKINSON PLANS TO EAT HER FIANCE ALIVE

Janice Dickinson at (and I love this) 
a benefit for "women in recovery." 
Yeah. How long do you figure before 
that poor 67-year-old fiance of hers 
has a heart attack? 
Photo/Crestock
Be careful, people. Love is in the air and it looks like it's contagious. Just says ago we reported that Deadmau5 and Kat Von D and their 800 tattoos got engaged. Now we learn that barking-mad Janice Dickinson has decided, as most women do at around age 57, to settle down too.  

Her betrothed is one Dr. Robert Gerner, and I have to say I hope the poor sod knows what he's getting himself into. The guy hardly looks like a cougar-tamer ... in fact in THIS PIC he looks kind of terrified ... and Janice clearly intends to go at him hammer and thong. She tells the UK Daily Mail that she has nicknamed him Rocky and plans to make him "the happiest man alive for the rest of his life." (Which isn't much of a commitment, since he's already 67, but it does imply a level of sexual energy that I'll bet "Rocky" only dreamed of before he ran into this hellcat.)

And when Janice Dickinson tells you she plans to "make you happy," this is what you should know: she has had some practice in that regard. Here's a partial list of her past lovers. You should read it carefully, because your name might be on there: 
Warren Beatty, Sylvester Stallone, Jack Nicholson, Liam Neeson, Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood, Kelly LeBrock, Prince Albert II, Roman Polanski, Dolph Lundgren, Grace Jones, Bruce Willis, Frank Zappa, John Cusack, David O'Hara and Jon Lovitz. 

Editor's note: What, no Arnold Schwarzenegger? That has to be a mistake.