Wednesday, 12 December 2012

KIM KARDASHIAN HAS HAD A HELL OF A WEEK!

 A SOMBRE KIM KARDASHIAN 
IN TRADITIONAL MOURNING GARB 
Well I know. It's not that traditional. But it's black 
 and you can't see any cleavage, so for her 
this is practically sackcloth and ashes.
Steve Vas/Featureflash


You think your day is going badly? Well did your cat just die? Because Kim Kardashian's cat just died and she tells the poor sad losers who follow her blog that she is "COMPLETELY HEARTBROKEN." Which is much, much more painful than being partially heartbroken. Hurts real bad.

And before you conclude that I am a cold heartless cat-hating witch, let me add that it wasn't really her cat. Kanye gave it to her as the super-cutest widdle giftie wiftie, but Kim doesn't do nurturing is allergic to stinky cats and so she swiftly regifted it to someone she barely knows: her sister's assistant. And also it wasn't a cat, it was an overbred four-month-old teacup Persian kitten that wasn't right from the get-go. But still. Totally devastated. Totally ... *sniffs. looks at watch. yawns* "OK. I'm all better now."

In happier Kim Kardashian news, she appears to be on tolerating terms again with former BFF turned mortal enemy Paris Hilton. The two were spotted within clawing distance of each other in the same club twice in the past week and neither went home on crutches. I am submitting this as my nomination for the Christmas Miracle of 2012.