|HEY, MARIE! I'M KINDA SINGLE |
So do ya think, maybe . . . ?
Oh, I'm sorry, does that sound shallow? Yeah well I don't give a rat's ass. Because I'm a tall woman who has been through hell ... HELL, I tell you! ... trying to find someone tall enough that I can wear stilettos and not make him feel like I just neutered him with my bare hands.
Yet for some reason, I seem to be attracting a lot of short dudes lately. I'm not talking one or two inches shorter than I am. I'm talking Danny de Vito. Maybe it's wanting what you don't have. Maybe it's the fact that they can see up my skirt without even having to wear their mirrored shoes. I don't know and I don't care. If you can't look me in the eye when I'm talking to you, it is not gonna happen.
Recently, I dated a man who, at 6’2'', was taller than I am in even my tallest heels. We were very happy together for more than a decade. I can’t remember his name anymore, but I do remember the way wearing heels again made me feel. Bloody fantastic.
|FOR THE LOVE OF HEELS, DANNY! NO! |
Seriously, short men, if THIS is what you see
when you are trolling for dates, you are
in the wrong aisle. Run along now ...
(Sheesh. Does it say The Economist up there on the masthead? No it does not.)
Editor’s note: In related news, Danny de Vito says he and Rhea Perlman are "working it out."
My note: Did he use that terminology? Gross.