Saturday, 15 December 2012


Hollywood Reporter, November 2012
 SJP with her light-fingered makeup artist. 
(Psst, SJP: Watch your back pocket! 
She'll pick it clean before the flash 
has even gone off!)

You'd think being a well-paid assistant to one of the biggest stars in Hollywood would be a seriously good gig. Better than being the bagel girl at Dunkin Donuts. Better than being the produce girl at Piggly Wiggly. And certainly better than being the babysitter for Octomom.

But apparently this is not the case. Apparently being the makeup artist for Sarah Jessica Parker is just NOT ENOUGH for some people. Because SJP is currently having her good name dragged through the mud by a thieving staffer who is willing to let SJP take the hit for her light fingered-ness.

On Thursday, SJP's longtime staffer Leslie "Sticky Fingers" Lopez allegedly swiped a pair of $1400 sunglasses from a kiosk at an airport in Norway. Security officers nabbed her and delayed the flight for more than an hour while Lopez ran the gamut of excuses from "It weren't me" to "I thought SJP paid for them!" 

In the ensuing humiliatory press coverage, SJP's publicity team at first denied having any knowledge of this woman. But then it became clear that in fact she had been painting on SJP's nose minimizer for, oh, a decade or so, knew SJP well and had maybe even partied at her home (SJP: "Well that explains the missing monogrammed salad tongs!"). 

Now, further damning evidence is coming to light via surveillance video. Namely that this trusted assistant, known for her light touch on makeup, is also known for her light touch on paying for things. And by things  I mean sunglasses. And lipstick. And ... well, in short, this bitch doesn't pay for ANYTHING.

So far, SJP has stood by Lopez, and I'd like to think this says something about her loyalty. But in fact I suspect it says something about her face. Because I can't help wondering . . . just how bad does she look without makeup that she'll cover for a kleptomaniac because she gives good spackle?