Saturday, 29 December 2012

THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE: JANET JACKSON IS STILL HOT

Janet Jackson, 46, tweeted this beautifully airbrushed, oddly timed card 
two days after Christmas. Because . . . well, just because.
: 
So here is what we cannot confirm about Janet Jackson: 
  • That she is engaged to a Qatari billionaire 10 years her junior.
  • That he gave her a rock that would choke a camel.
  • That she is going to be a judge on X-Factor.
  • That she has had work done.

And here is what we can pretty much guarantee about Janet Jackson:
  • That she is engaged to a Qatari billionaire 10 years her junior.
  • That he gave her a rock that would choke a camel.
  • That she is going to be a judge on X-Factor.
  • That she has had work done. 

Because this is how publicity works in Hollywood these days. (It used to be sex tapes, but Hulk "The Fossil" Hogan ruined that one for everybody.) You get your rep to leak tantalizing gossip, you appear on Anderson Cooper to coyly refuse to confirm the gossip, and poof: it is so. It is no coincidence that Janet has suddenly resurfaced from whatever fitness club-slash-cosmetic surgery spa she's been hiding out in, looking like two million bucks and wishing us all Season's Greetings (two days AFTER Christmas).
Personally, I couldn't care less whether any of the rumours are true. I'm just thankful that she didn't flash those legendary abs in her Merry Publicitymas card . . . because no one needs to see those this soon after the holiday chowdown.