Tuesday, 8 January 2013

IT'S TUESDAY! WHO WANTS TO FEEL MY PLASTIC LINKS?

WARNING: NOT
 HUMANLY POSSIBLE
Girls, there are only three women 
in the world who can safely look 
like Barbie: a supermodel (above),
 the nutter in the link at right, 
and of course, Barbie.

When I was a little girl, I had a Barbie. Actually, I had a few Barbies. OK, fine, I had a SHITLOAD of Barbies. I was infatuated with the things, with their tiny wasp-waists and perfect hair and amazing little geisha girl feet. 

Even back then, before the automobile was invented and we made our own dang ol' underwear from burlap sacks, people were beginning to think Barbie was a bad influence.  
That her fantastical measurements were turning girls into desperate, dieting, extension-wearing, collagen-injecting, breast implant-getting career barfers whose lives would be wasted in ruinous pursuit of perfection.

It was a direct route to madness because NO ONE WOULD EVER BE ABLE TO LOOK LIKE BARBIE! BECAUSE SHE IS NOT REAL! Or so we thought . . .  
But then along came this perfectly normal young lady from Moldavia who proved everybody wrong. 

Click on this link and see for yourselves that there is nothing disturbing about this chick at all and we should all go out and buy every young girl we know a Barbie. Or maybe a chainsaw. You know. Something healthy.