Tuesday, 15 January 2013

JODIE, OPRAH, LANCE REVEAL STUNNINGLY OLD NEWS

SCORE! GOT HIM TO 
CONFESS TO BEING GAY! 
Wait, no, that was Jodie. Oh well, watch the 
entire tedious two-hour interrogation anyway!
Photo/CreStock
This week in "Things We Already Knew," Jodie Foster shocked maybe two people by finally admitting to being gay. While the rest of the audience at the Golden Globes looked at each other and asked, "Why is she telling us this here? And now?" two twelve-year-olds who lied about their age to get in looked at each other and asked, "Who's Jodie Foster?"

In other "TWAK" news, Oprah's people dutifully leaked her interview with disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong, enabling forcing Oprah to confide that he confessed to drug use. Marvelous! This saves me the bother of watching the two-hour oeuvre, which, for those of you who are easily shocked and amused and did not already think Lance was a doper, airs Thursday.