An army of rabid Stepford Wives is blasting Kim Kardashian on Twitter for spending New Year's Eve whooping it up in a Vegas club instead of staying home and throwing up like any decent pregnant woman would. These critics, who I assume are nuns with Twitter accounts, saw this innocent pic Kim posted and were driven mad with moral indignation, calling her everything but a white woman.
I am not usually one to defend the Kardashians and their relentless, double-breasted attack on America, but these holier-than-thous are out of order. First of all, as Kanye brayed to the world last week, their baby was conceived "near the Vatican," so it's practically a saint. Therefore your mortal rules DO NOT APPLY.
Also, it is unfair to assume that because Kim was in a nightclub, she was getting her liquor on. I'll have you know that it is possible to go to a club and not get completely Lindsay Lohammered. I mean . . . well, I've never personally been able to do it, but I'm told that someone once did it and someone else was sober enough to witness it. So it is possible. In theory.
Anyway, everyone needs to stand down and save their fire for the really stupid Kimye pregnancy stuff. Because you know it's coming.