Saturday, 5 January 2013

NOTHING SAYS 'NEW MOM' LIKE A BIG OL' TATTOO

SNOOKI'S NEW TEETH LOOK FANTASTIC! 
As does the harlot-red hair and the 
plunging decolletage. But, I dunno... 
needs more tattoo, don't you think? 
Yeah, definitely needs more tattoo.
Photo/CreStock 

You know how some new moms lie around in their sweaty PJs all day eating pork rinds right out of the bag and watching Jerry Springer? No? Well apparently there was one new mom who did that once and it became an instant stereotype. But not a stereotype you could ever tie Snooki Polizzi to (even though hers is the face that came to mind when I wrote that sentence). 

No, Snooks is a break-the-mold kind of mom. Since she shat out her little meatball, she's been keeping up a whipsaw pace of glamourous self-improvements, starting with getting her teeth veneered, her nails done, her extensions coloured and now, wait for it . . . a tattoo. A big one.

Her new tatt depicts a fictional beast that . . . hold on a sec, Snooki is tugging on my pantleg with her new teeth. (Oh for God's sake, Snooki, what do you mean I ruined everything? You really thought there was a creature with a leopard's body, wings and horns? Jesus Jersey Christ.)

Anyway, Snooks unveiled the ridiculous arm tatt yesterday to her fan. But he was napping so she posted a pic of it on her blog, where she walks us through the creation by explaining the crown proves she is "a queen," the wings represent relatives who have passed and the leopard ... well that's just because she's tacky.
"Obviously I love leopard print," she gushes. Next, she plans to get her entire backside inked with leopard spots! 

Nowhere in this helpful guided tour of her new ink does Snooki mention that her original plan ... to get a shitload of maternal piercings ... got sidelined when they pierced her bellybutton and gravy came out. 

You can check out Snooks' hot new ink by clicking right here. http://www.toofab.com/2013/01/01/snooki-new-tattoo-photos/