|ROLLING STONE, MARCH 2013|
In a stunning reversal of everything, Rihanna has put on actual clothing, ditched the attitude and opened up for a candid interview with Rolling Stone, in which she says is finally ready to go public about her reunion with Chris Brown. She speaks openly about how their relationship must look to others, admitting "it's not the cutest puzzle in the world."
But she insists Chris is different now, and by "now" I assume she means before he punched out Frank Ocean and then compared himself to Jesus Christ Our Lord. (Click here to see an original Chris Brown masterpiece, which he posted on Instagram with the caption: "Painting the way I feel today. Focus on what matters!" And I don't know how I never saw the similarities between Chris and Jesus before, because they are so obvious! You didn't know Jesus was a wife-beater? Well you have NOT been reading your Bible, people.)
But back to Jesus's girlfriend, Rihanna.
"You think you know" how it is with her and Chris, she says, "but you don't." So what is it that we don't know? Well, for starters: Chris Brown is sorry for what he did. He is disgusted by what he did to her. He has changed. He values her more now. He knows he is on his last chance with her and he is determined to behave.
There's just one problem with all of this. The one who needs to be saying it is Chris Brown. Because until he says it, all we've got to go on is what he's showing us, which is chronic, unrepentant, egotisical shitheadism with lashings of God complex. And I think Rihanna deserves better than that. Even if she doesn't think she does.