Friday, 18 January 2013

RIHANNA WILL BARE HER ARSE BUT NOT HER SOUL

ONE OF SEVEN CHASTE COVER SHOTS RIHANNA DID FOR COMPLEX MAGAZINE

As you can see from the image above, Rihanna's recent cover shoot for Complex magazine was a smashing success because she got to spend hours posing half naked, which, aside from chasing Chris Brown around the globe, is her favourite thing to do.
Her interview, on the other hand, was a little rocky. 

In a chat over lunch, where she unfortunately ordered calamaretti fritti instead of a big slice of Get Over Yourself, RiRi basically treated the interviewer the way she ought to be treating Chris Brown. Like dirt.

The problem seemed to stem from the fact that Rihanna is an idiot. The classic "Reporter asks questions, you answer" formula was completely lost on her, as was the concept of "But if you incessantly tweet photos of yourself in bed with Chris  followed by tweets about how you've dumped him, people will be confused."
In Rihanna's mind, the whole point of the interview was to promote her expertise in cussing, breast tattoos and self-portaiture. When the reporter lost sight of this riveting goal and instead asked about her bizarre relationship with Chris Brown, Rihanna gave her a death glare, gathered up her belongings and walked away.

It is unclear whether she was pissed off about being asked about the man who once turned her face into a Picasso or whether she just suddenly got one of her urges to go home take all her clothes off and tweet pictures of herself. When that urge comes over you, you just can't fight it.

Editor's note: Well, I'll tell you, I got everything I ever wanted to know about Rihanna out of that little preamble, but if you have a higher retching threshhold and would like to see the full Complex cover story and cover shots, click right here.