Monday, 7 January 2013

PAULINA GRETZKY'S ALL BETTER NOW, THANK HEAVENS!

THAT'S PAULINA GRETZKY? 
Holy crap! I didn't recognize her 
with her clothes on!

Remember when Wayne Gretzy's daughter, Paulina, used to tweet racy photos of herself in various states of complete nudity? When you could not get through one week on Twitter without her immaculately waxed privates making you feel like you should immediately book an appointment with the dog groomer? 

Well those days are over. Paulina has grown up since last April and learned that tweeting slutty photos is best left to Kim Kardashian not the way to get ahead, or it would have happened by now. The new Paulina covers up and no longer feels the need to have either a wine bottle or her own finger in her mouth when posing for photos.
 
And you know what? It is totally working for her! 
Since deciding to put her clothes back on, Paulina has scored a Flare magazine cover and snagged a television special, which airs Tuesday on CityTV at 7 p.m. And I have it on very good authority that she will be clothed in both of these exciting ventures.
 
Next, Paulina says she wants to forge a career in music, start a fashion line and maybe star in a few more movies (she has a tiny part in an Adam Sandler movie, which means no one will ever see it because Sandler has taken a vow to make each new movie shittier than the one before it. And at the rate he's going, it'll be negative-shitty in no time).  

Editor's note: Well I think she's being a quitter. What she should have done is made a sex tape. And judging from this vast library of twitter pics I have amassed, she'd be pretty good at it.
My note: I am shutting down your Twitter account. And your Internet access. It's for the best.