Wednesday, 2 January 2013

WELL THIS IS RICH: DIET TIPS FROM ANOREXICS

MUST. NOT. OPEN. LIPS.
"Wait ... is that ... do I smell bacon? 
(Think of Sticky Willies! 
Think of Sticky Willies!
   Think of Sticky Willies!)"
Photo/CreStock




It was your typical Christmas celebration: I ate for four days straight, gorging myself on so much food my stomach  literally  ached ... and then, of course, I kept going. Because that is somehow what Christmas has come to be about: overconsumption and gluttony. 

I'll save the self-flagellation tips for later, because frankly I'm feeling too lethargic to berate anyone right now, but I will share this hilarious "slimming secret" from Victoria Beckham. I know, right? Like we don't all know what her REAL secret is. (There are two reasons Victoria Beckham never opens her mouth. She doesn't want people to see her teeth and she doesn't want her teeth to see food.)  

But here is how an article in the UK's Daily Mail spun it: "Overindulged this Christmas? Try Victoria Beckham's slimy slimming secret." Well naturally I thought it was going to be about puking and being married to Becks, but it turns out Posh owes her stick figure to a diet pill made of seaweed, bladderwrack and an herb called Sticky Willies. It's sold under the trade name Quantrim and it supposedly fires up your metabolism, makes you feel full and  helps you lose weight.

Which is interesting, because so does eating bran and going to the gym, but until they convert that into a pill made of something gross, it'll never have cachet.