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| "HI, MOM? YEAH, THE BUMP IS SHOWING." So you can pretty much start the bidding now. Hmm? Yeah, start high. I mean we put Kendall out there way too low and it just didn't take. What's that? No of course I won't tell Bruce! He doesn't even know she's pregnant! Hahahaa! Love you too!" |
Hillary Clinton steps down as Secretary of State.
Hackers take down 250,000 Twitter accounts.
Kim Kardashian's baby bump is showing.
Holy crap. What? That last one should really be the first one! Maybe even the only one!
Yes, folks, Kim Kardashian's baby bump is showing, which of course calls for an Instagram. What's weird about this Instagram photo, aside from everything, is that it inadvertently sets the stage for Baby Bump's lifelong second place-ism.
"Yes, Kim's baby bump, you're cute 'n' all, but you will never be as plump or as popular as Kim's butt bump. Or her boob bumps. So many bumps! You'd really have to be octoplets to compete with them!"
"Also, be careful of Auntie Khloe, left. She would like us to believe that she is not sick with envy, but you get the eerie feeling she and her empty uterus can't wait for Kim to get fat and veiny, and that she is secretly hoping you turn out looking like Kris Humphries. I'm sorry, baby bump. It's not your fault your daddy isn't Javier Bardem."
Ooo, speaking of which...
Today in babies
whose father I lust after: Penelope Cruz is pregnant with her second child by Javier Bardem. You selfish bitch. You know perfectly well I am sitting here waiting,
waiting, waiting to be impregnated with my FIRST child by Javier Bardem. Climb off of the man and give him some space, will you?
I know I need to be nicer.
ReplyDeleteBut give me a fucking break.
We need to have laws in the United States that your ass has to able to fit in typical white girl jeans. Not meaning to sound racist towards anyone but the Kardashians.
Obviously Khloe's is the biggest but she hides it because Kim makes the most money and has to "outshine" the rest of her sisters.
Even though she's a jealous twit of Kourtney because Kourtney has two kids and is just happy without any of the fame shit Kim has, and Khloe has a somewhat better marriage. Meanwhile, Kim got married at 18, that obviously failed. Then she made a sex tape which lead to them all getting famous (if they weren't greedy sell outs, we wouldn't give a shit about them) and her marriage to Kris was just pathetic.
Enough of my little rant there. Writing it out is the best therapy anyways.
I won't say Kim will be a bad mother, because so many thought that of Snooki and her kid is still alive (yeah, put that in your juice box and suck it) but I will say anyway Kim and her control freak mom can make any money out of the kid - I know they'll try it... dispite what Kanye wants.
I, er, I don't think I can top what you just said. And if I were Kim...well first of all, I would ditch Kanye...but if I were Kim, I would be afraid of white girl in asian town. VERY afraid!
ReplyDelete