Friday, 22 February 2013

DUFFY, DISNEY WORLD AND OTHER REASONS TO CRY

HEY KIDS! ANYONE LIKE BOWLING? 
How 'bout bowling in P.E.I.? I actually live there! 
When I'm not living in Disneyworld, that is! 
Photo/CreStock
 
I can't decide who I'm more disgusted with. I mean it's kind of a dead heat, because both should know better, we're paying them to know better, they goddamn well KNOW they should know better, and yet . . . 

In this cornah, we have Senator Mike Duffy, kindly offering to repay the money he should never have been given in the first place. One gets the feeling he wants us to admire his integrity. Which I will get to right after I finish admiring Rob Ford for repaying back that improperly donated football money. Oh, wait ... 
Readers Digest version: Mike Duffy, who works in Ottawa, claims his primary residence is in P.E.I. Which is fine. Except that Mike Duffy has in fact lived in a home in Ottawa for decades, which we pay for. Facing a media rotisserieing, Duffy demurs, dodges and then finally relents: Fine. I will reimburse the $42,802 of taxpayer money for the Ottawa home, which I probably should not have taken anyway. (Translation: Are you happy now? Get off my senatorial back, you shitheads!) Is this the kind of person you want in the chamber of sober second thought? I think not.

And in this cornah, we have the Windsor teachers who pulled such a sick and mean-spirited hoax on the kids they're supposed to be an example to it makes me thankful I don't have school-aged children anymore.
Readers Digest version: Teacher is annoyed that kids are snooping in her desk. Which kids do. It's wrong, but hello: they're 13. Teachers seize this teachable moment by setting the kids up to believe they're going on a trip to Disney.
Imagine for a moment that you are 13. The closest you've ever been to Disney is watching Pocahontas on DVD. You're pretty stoked, right? Especially when teachers then assemble you all for a Power Point presentation detailing this fabulous Disney trip ... and then, "Ha ha, guess what, you're going BOWLING in Windsor, you desk-snooping future recidivists!  Oh, and guess what else, we're filming your crestfallen faces right now!"
Are these the kind of people you want in charge of your children? I think not.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Wow. This one is too tough too call. And also too depressing. I suddenly find myself longing for the halcyon days of Shawinigate and Maxime Bernier. *cues All In the Family soundtrack, weeps softly*