Tuesday, 5 February 2013

MUHAMMAD ALI PASSES THE BOOTYLICIOUS STRESS TEST

MUHAMMAD ALI'S FAMILY TWEETED THIS WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S-ish PHOTO
of Ali watching the Super Bowl to counter reports he was near death. (Oh THANK GOD,  
Ali is alive and well! This picture of a random helmet totally proves it!)

I don't know what's going on in Muhammad Ali's family, but I do know this, that brother of his should never be left alone with him. Muhammad's brother, Rahman, told reporters Ali is circling the drain and may have just days left to live. "He's in God's hands," he said. 
Which certainly sounds ominous. 
Except that it might not be true. 

The rest of the clan has since hotly denied it, with Ali's wife Lonnie saying he cosied right up to the telly for the Super Bowl yesterday and got very excited when Beyonce's meaty thighs made an appearance. "Muhammad . . . was completely (taken) with Beyonce,” Lonnie said Sunday night. “His eyes and mouth were wide open, so he’s fine."
To prove her point, she tweeted this photo of Ali "enjoying the game." 

And I am really thankful that The World's Greatest is alive and er, alive, but to be honest, you'd never know it from this pointless photo. It's almost Fidel-esque in its caginess. Yeah, that could be Ali's head in that blurry helmet. Or it could be some random senior at the home, who didn't put up the slightest fuss when this helmet was plopped on his head because he was promised a plug of saltwater taffy. Or it could just be an empty helmet sitting on a bookshelf. 

Anyway, the bottom line is, the reports of Ali's imminent death are greatly exaggerated, and from now on, guess whose videos are going to be in constant rotation whenever Pops' heart rate gets a little fuzzy? That's right, Beyonce. "Uh oh, dad looks pale. Quick, hit the play button!"

EDITOR'S NOTE: Tsk tsk. The man is a legend. I think what we should be saying here is "God bless and get well . . . and may I recommend "Bootylicious" as your go-to defibrillator song. Totally gets my blood pumping."