Tuesday, 26 February 2013

RUSSIA TO DEPARDIEU: FRANCE'S LOSS IS STOLI'S GAIN

COMMISSAR GERARD DEPARDIEU
Just look at that rosy glow. The are only 
two reasons a man ever looks like this: 
1) he's pissed to the eyeballs, or
 2) he's made of ham. 
Paul Smith/Featureflash


Well this is huge news for vodka distillers: permanently blotto screen great Gerard Depardieu has been officially registered as a Russian resident. His new address in the city of Saransk is 1 Democracy Street, which is almost as drama queen as the tax spat that was his reason for disowning his homeland of France in the first place. 

Workers at Stolichnaya are reportedly apoplectic with glee. "Just think of all the overtime we'll get!" they crowed. (And my Russian is a little russki rusty, but I believe that would sound something like this: "отравления алкоголем!")

Editor's note: There really should be some sort of international law against ever allowing Vladimir Putin and Gerard Depardieu to live within mingling distance of each other. This isn't going to end well.

My note: I'm not sure what you're implying, but whatever it is, my money's on Vlad.