Wednesday, 13 March 2013

CELEBRITIES' KIDS PLAY HIGH-STAKES GENE POKER

GUESS WHOSE DAUGHTER THIS IS?
 Hint: Steven Spielberg. (Oops, did I ruin it for you? Sorry. I'm a hamfisted hinter.)
TooFab/Photo Gallery

Ah, the celebrity gene pool. It's more like a gene casino, really, with fetuses madly rolling the dice in the hopes that they'll come up Angelina Eyes instead of Snake Eyes. 
Because when you look at the odds of some of these celebrity pairings, they are really taking a chance with the pedigree thing. Sure, your mom is model Patti Hansen ... but your dad is Keith Richards! Yeah, great, your mom is Beyonce, but what if you turn out looking like DAD? 
Other kids have almost zero odds of turning out pugly, such as the blessed offspring of Saint Angelina and her submissive footservant, Brad, or the passel of pretties sired by David Beckham and miraculously ejected from Posh's dainty birth canal, which, unless it is somehow wider than she is, can only be about three inches in diameter. 

Then we've got the celebrity kids who beat the odds, such as the handsome son of Neanderthal Ahnold Schwarzenegger and his ex-bride Maria Shrivel. You can bet that kid gets down on his knees every single morning and delivers an earnest thank-you vesper to Thor. Who of course is entirely the wrong god to be thanking, but hello ... he couldn't escape all of dad's genes.

But enough of this polite chit-chat, let's get down to serious business: the mocking of the photographic evidence. Here, for your Wednesday viewing pleasure, is TooFab's excellent gallery, Guess Who? Stars Model Kids. Please do enjoy.