Thursday, 14 March 2013

CHARLIE SHEEN ISSUES CALL TO SHITTY ARMS

"YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS WITH MY SEED?" 
F*ck you, Viewpoint School! 
DENISE! Fetch me the Shih-Tzu!
Phto/CreStock

I have no reason to suspect that the offspring of Charlie Sheen would be anything but exemplary, well-adjusted young human beings, or possibly warlocks, so I am not blaming his daughter one bit for his reaction when she got “bullied” out of school for no reason.

Oh I know, you’re thinking “That crazy Charlie! He probably went to the school and burned the principal to ashes and snorted her right in front of his daughter’s shrieking, terrified classmates.

Well you’re close.
But you're thinking small.
Because what Charlie actually did was he took to Twitter to issue “a call to arms,” urging his 9.1 MILLION followers to pelt the school, which he named, and the alleged bully, whom he also named, with dog shit.
Here’s the exact tweet. Which explains a lot, including why you need to be following this dude on Twitter. This shit is brilliant!


"CADRE!
This is a legitimate call to arms.
my daughter Sam was bullied out of Viewpoint school and then called a liar.
it’s on!
if you have a rotted egg
a roll of toilet paper
or some dog shit;
I urge u to deliver it with “extreme prejudice”
to their KamPuss run by trolls and charlatans.
make me proud.
we will not tolerate this level of
abhorrent disrespect towards the child of your favorite Warlock.
And if your feeling the
“show and tell” of it all,
smear the shit to spell one name on the front door;
VICTORIA.
eat that loser.
c"


Aaah, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. This is just one of many reasons why I am so glad you miraculously cheated death during every one of your epic relapses. The world would just be a duller place without you.
Now, to find some dog shit . . .

Denise Richards
Denise Richards' note: That is not nice, Charlie! That is a bad exampel (sic) to our Sammie! But if you do fling dog poo, could you please use poodle poo? Because poodles are cute and fluffy.