|"I WONDER WHAT TIGER |
IS DOING THESE DAYS..."
(What Elin Nordegren
says to nobody, ever.)
It almost made us feel bad that we had once envied her … because envy is, after all, a sin. And so is adultery, so really, the poor woman was just swimming in a bubbling stew of other people’s sins.
Well guess what. It is now safe to resume envying her again. And I don't think God will even be upset with you this time, because not only did Elin get a $100 million divorce settlement from
Editor's note:I ... diamond-crusted platinum vagina? They make those?
My note: Er, no. No they don't. In fact, please forget I said that. (Now he's going to want one for Christmas.)