|OH WHATEVER, ADRIANA LIMA |
I happen to know that anyone could look as good
as you if they rubbed banana peels all over their face
. . . and then had a head transplant.
However, I do occasionally come across some more practical tips, such as this totally believable one I saw on ehow.com, which says rubbing the inside of a banana peel on your face will make it super smooth and rubbing it on your teeth will whiten them. (This explains why chimps have such lovely skin and teeth.)
Let's see, what else have I got? Ah yes. This is a biggie: wear makeup. Accept the fact that “the natural look” is really only for those rare women who are naturally incredibly beautiful, such as Charlize Theron,
EDITOR'S NOTE: Wow. For the first time since I started working for you, I actually kind of pity you right now.
MY NOTE: Well don't. You were who I had in mind when I said "stand next to ugly people."